Hi guys, happy Saturday! If you haven’t read my last blog post about living in Seattle, then you should totally read it, here. I moved to Seattle mid-September of last year from Minnesota, and I don’t think I have shared with you guys reasons why I made such a big and far move here on the blog yet. So for today’s post, I want to continue with the moving out and moving away topic and tell you some of my personal stories in hope to inspire you guys to justbreak free and do whatever you love and want to do! It takes courage!
Ever since I moved to Minnesota and lived there for a few years, I knew from the start that I wanted to move to a bigger city and be surrounded by the right creative kind of people. I had school to finish and a degree that I wanted to achieve. So I graduated and had a job. After about a year working, I did not see opportunities to learn nor advance at work. I was bored, really bored of the life I was living at. I tried, really try to live and make the day count, but that was not enough for me. I felt like everything was just the same old way. And nothing changed. I made lots of friendships, beautiful ones, but I need to be surrounded by people with the same mindset, creative ones. Something else in me never felt like that was enough. I needed to move out and move away.
It is so hard to leave—until you leave.
And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.
I am the type of person who hoards and holds on to things. I hold on to feelings and memories. I could not let go for the longest time. I dated a guy for 4.5 years, and our last year felt like the end of our life. It was complicated and confusing. I was devastated when we had finally broken up and no more going back and forth. The healing process took me 2 full years. I did not see nor cared about anyone who had a thing or two to say about me and my relationship as well as my life at the time. I took a year off from school (due to some financial hardship!), and I worked for 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I only had one goal at the time: to heal! The leap year gave me lots of opportunities to be by myself and focused on me and my own thoughts. I knew I wanted to finish school and pay off college, so that leap year also gave me time to work and save some money. And I did! Besides work, I traveled places, met up with a friend or two whom I knew way back when, reconnected with them and explored. I learned to open my eyes and heart to people and the world. And I did! Two years ago, I finally had the courage to date someone new. I dated. I gave myself a chance, a few times, but nothing felt right.
First admit that you are unhappy. Then admit why. Then understand you need to let go. Allow yourself a moment. Breathe in the moment deeply. Then the healing will begin.
Nikita Gill, How to Start Healing
There were many early signs! I remembered I had my hair cut and changed its colors and styles a lot. I felt like that was my only way to satisfy the need or the desire to change. To me, hair grew back, so it was not a problem if I suddenly wanted it chopped on the next day. I went shopping a lot, like almost every day after work, whenever I could. A better excuse would be I needed to drive and be by myself in my own thoughts. I did that a lot. For some people, either cutting hair or going shopping a lot is like a temporary solution, an instant gratification for a problem that the person is dealing with, and that won’t ever solve the problem but make it worst.
Oprah Winfrey once have said, ‘I have come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that is as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.’ Somehow it strongly reminds of the Alchemist audiobook (written by Paulo Coelho) that I listened to last year in which its core theme went something like, ‘Your Personal Legend is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
I thought the Personal Legend idea and that ‘if we want something so bad, all the universe will help you get there.’ is a very powerful idea, at least to me! I think it is very true! I felt incredibly humbled and lucky to have found such amazing partner, my boyfriend, whom I love so dearly. Without him, I would not be able to move out and away this far, to the coast, to the bigger city, and he is the creative one that has always been inspired and motivated me to do what I love and do it well! I hope that wherever you are in life, remember that no feeling is final! We just have to push it through with all you have got!
Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.
Glennon Doyle Melton (via briqou)
Adult realization: you will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind and just to people, grow and learn.
You deserve something you don’t have to question. You deserve someone who is sure of you.
r.h. Sin (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
all quotes and this above photo – via Tumlr.
sweater | thrifted, similar here
jeans | Urban Outfitters BDG
bag | Kozha Numbers the mini safe